2003-03-02 – 20:48

“The Month in Review, Part II” or “I Must Inform the Public of my Comings and Goings”

02 March 2003

Hello dear journal! How are you today? It has been such a long time since i have written anything to you, and I am so sorry, but the month has been really busy because I have been substituting for people in the office, and I have been trying to have more fun in the social scene, which I have accomplished.

During the month of February, I have done so many things that I hardly know where to begin. First, I had a visit from Steven again. he was last in stockholm in september or october and it was a real treat to see him again. We were able to hang out and catch up on a lot. He was doing generally well and he made me really happy to come and visit him again.

After Steve left, I also was hanging out with my good friends Markus and Tomas. And I also met Rain from Finland and he was amazingly cool. I let him stay at my flat when he was in Stockholm and he returned the favor when I went back to Finland.

Finally, I also went home to get some of my things so that they could be shipped to Sweden. While I was at home I stayed with my sister’s place and did a lot of work. I also surprised my mom with a visit to her office and took her out to lunch. I also got to visit with Cara while I was in town. I tried to visit with Jason, but he was out of town. I literally had so much to do that I couldn’t even visit all of my family and i could not visit all of my closest friends either. But I have a gfeeling that I will have many more surprise trips home. I just need to do a better job of managing my visits home because if I give a lot of warning, then I have to go and try and visit too many people and everyone gets disappointed because I don’t have the ability to spend quality time with them.

Anyway, on 01 March 2003, I also had another endeavour, which was to begin the “Rodney Improvement project”, which after I talked to Markus, we renamed it to “Beach 2003”. Our collective goal is to get in shape to be comfortable at the beach by June. However, the we have been off to quite a slow start, as we have eating nothing but junk and fatty food, and drank loads of alcohol since the task began. But I am confident that we will succeed mostly because I have no choice. And with Tomas as inspiration, i am sure that I will continue to lose more weight. but we will see how it goes.

Anyway, I have to go now, but it was a whole lot of fun to write. I promise to try and write on a weekly basis. Take care jounral.

Love, Rodney

“A Month in Review” or “What A Strange, Long Trip It’s Been (again)”

23 February 2003

Hello journal! Well it seems that I have gone down from daily updates, to weekly updates, to monthly updates. But it’s all good, because most of you, dear readers, have been using a little thing called e-mail! And I love you all for it, but often, I am just too busy to respond in any depth unless it’s about Steak and Blowjob Day. I am serious. It’s an actual day. Lord help us all.

Anyway, so according to the date thingomonobber on the last journal entry, it has been a month and 3 days, so what has happened do you ask? Plenty! But we’ll go over that later. I think I am going to hook up with someone coming over to my flat.

Anyway, the main goal of this message is that Rodney drops everything for cheap meaningless sex with the georgous swedes.

And my website has finally been updated. Go to www.rodneycornelius.com and feel free to send me some feedback.

“I’m Edumacated” or “Sprechen de Frommage, MoFo?”

20 January 2003

Hello journal. How are you today? I am feeling like I am cloud nine…that is the nickname for my bed by the way. But actually, I am at work. But I am still in a happy mood so far. This weekend was quite a nice weekend in many ways. eXciting if you know what I mean. There was sex, drugs, and rock and roll (metaphorically speaking)…shiny disco balls…all of that good stuff.

So anyway, the reason to write to you today is that I am signed up for Swedish language lessons, and I am so excited at the opportunity to learn swedish. I really feel like I am going to be able to communicate so much more effectively once I become confident in Swedish. I am anticipating that I will be far along in the Swedish langauge by June 2003. At the end of the summer (which will be the one year mark in Sweden), I want to have a good understanding of the language at least the way a 7 year old would communicate. This would be the same level I currently use in English. I am going to get edumacated and I am so excited. Now repeat after me…”spechen de Frommage, MoFo?” Don’t know what that means? It means “do you speak cheese, motherfucker?” Yeah, I’ve got that secretary of state job all wrapped up…

In other news, I have decided to have another after-party. I have to warn the neighbors…or better yet invite them. However, I think that even if I invite them over…once it goes past 6am, my neighbors are going to hate the fact that I am having an after party. I am going to have to buy their silence. Either that or whore around the apartment building and sleep with them all. Including that geriatric carpet-bagger at the end of the hall. If I so much as sneeze loudly, she laments openly about how kids sneezed more quietly when she was young. Only I don’t think she can remember that far back.

Well, that’s enough for the moment…promise to write more later. Ciao for now journal…love you!

–Rodney

“Dog Day Afternoon” or “Age Before Beauty”

12 January 2003

Hello journal and everyone. Perhaps you felt the earth shake today. You wanna know why? No, it is not because I was walking around (I am not fat, I am big-boned). It actually is because today I left my dignity at the store entrance and went to buy a CD single from the A*Teens. Yeah, the A*Teens. You know, the group who got their start by performing covers of ABBA songs (the “A” in A*Teens stands for “ABBA”), but now have used their relative success to make their own records? Well anyway, I have hosted so many after-parties in which the song has been requested, that I decided that it was just time to bite the bullet and purchase the single. Sigh. And for my next trick, I will make my dignity disappear…poof.

Anyway, this afternoon was just kinda of a blah day. I didn’t really have much to do, so I decided that I would go shopping. You know, because since I have no sense of real self-worth, I will buy my happiness and then come down with a case of “Shoppers Remorse”. So anyway, today I went to buy new music, some creams and potions, and a house-warming present for a friend. In terms of music, I bought a awesome artist named “Peaches”…her signature song is “Fuck the Pain Away”…she’s just kick ass. And there was that A*Teens thing, but let us never mention that again. I also had to buy more CK Crave, Tommy Body Wash, and a couple of items from Nickel, since I am not scheduled to fly to Paris anytime soon. In the fragrance section of Åhlens, I ran into Joachim, whose name I always forget…I feel like an ass when that happens, but I was honest and just said that I forgot his name. Nothing personal. I tend to remember names of people I meet only when I am in the condition I originally met them. For example, if I meet you while I am drunk, I remember when I drunk again (usually within 24-36 hours), but not when I am sober. So everyone in theory has to introduce themselves to me twice….unless I think you are so hot that I wanna shag, then I ask everyone around who that is so that I can seem like that creepy bunny-boiling type that wins people over so easily. My, that was random, eh? At any rate, Joachim was a real doll…he gave me a free samples and a carry case. All of the cool kids work in fragrance. All of the smelly kids work in the music department. If you work in a music store or department and are reading this, yes, you smell. yes you do. Stop arguing. La la la la…I’m not listening Senior/Senora/Senorita Smelly…

Last night I went out drinking. Went to the local club (it’s downstairs from me) and it was Cottonhead Night, meaning that I was one of four people under the century mark. Not that it’s not fun to go to the club during Century Night, but lets face it, you can only watch the gums fall out of a grandma’s mouth so many times before it just becomes plain old unattractive. So after gambling away about US$50, I decided that it was time to go and party some place else. We went to Stureacompagnient (I spelled that wrong), and had a great time. Some of my UK mates had never been, so it was good that they saw some of the non-touristy places in Stockholm. Someone said at the club that I was dressed like a discount hooker, but I swear my boss tells me the same thing, so I took it in stride and took his business card because he supposedly has great after-parties.

Well, other than that, things are going pretty well still. I have a clean apartment thanks to the Canadian cleaner, a fully stocked bar thanks to the local package store, and something to eat other than cheese and corn chips thanks to a trip to the supermarket.

Keep in touch everyone! Ciao for now and love you journal.

Ciao, Rodney

“Cool As Ice” or “The Art of Making Friends”

11 January 2003

Greetings readers. You know, I had 2 instant messenging conversations yesterday in which both people commented that since I wasn’t updating frequently in the journal, they weren’t too sure how I was doing, because that was one of the ways that they knew how I was doing. I found that touching. It was such a “waiting to Exhale” moment, that I was inspired to write a new journal entry again today.

Today’s topic is surprise…the Swedish and the process of making friends. Are you surprised at this? You shouldn’t be.

Most Swedes spend their days at work, tending to the kids, living predictable lives. Most of the population of Stockholm has not lived here all of their lives…they consider it “moving to the big city.” So they tend to have their friends back home and are very reserved when making new friends in the city, especially with foreigners. So as a foreigner in Stockholm who know almost no Swedish, can you imagine that the process of making friends is challenging at the best of times, difficult at the worst of time. There’s a bunch of Swedish “rules” that just don’t exist in the US. It makes them seems cold at times, but as I have come to learn, once you make a friend with a Swede, it is usually a pretty strong friendship that can stand the tests of time and distance. However warm and fuzzy this makes you feel, let’s break it down to some more of those rules, understanding that for me, the context is trying to shag most of the adult population of hot Swedes I see everyday. Ok, not really. Or maybe I am serious. Things will seem to contradict, so ask me again when the Tylenol PM wears off:

1. Swedes tend to be reserved (it is often mistaken for shyness) when they are meeting someone for the first time. To counter-act this, they drink alcohol. Loads. Now my US friends will say “Rodney, just buy them a drink and use your witty charm to think of a conversation-starter”. However, Swedes aren’t used to people buying them drinks. It is often looked on with the expectation that I want to sleep with them. Sometimes true, but more often than not, I am just being friendly. To the Swedes who read, understand that in the US, most people going out defer to the “round”concept…I’ll buy this round, you buy the next, etc, etc, etc.

2. Being a foreigner is sometimes bad. Sometimes you can feel isolated. However, being a foreigner is good. It starts conversations. And when you make a social mistake, it is easily dismissed as “oh, well he’s not from around here, otherwise, he wouldn’t have slept with your spouse because he would have know.” While this might bother most, I take pride in being different than anyone they have probably ever met.

3. After-parties and dinner parties are a good thing. Having never been invited to an after-party, I don’t really know what it is like to attend one. I have only hosted them. I guess I should be bitter at that, but in reality, I hosting them more. And the visitors like that the alcohol is free (because I pay for it). But in general, I am please to share my flat with others. Compared to the average Swedish flat for a single person, I live in a palace (my flat is over 100 square meters). I feel like it is small, at which point Swedes will tell me to shut my piehole. At this point, I am really just inviting a bunch of different people to my flat for after-parties, but towards the middle of the year, I will narrow that group down. Basically, there are already people who have come to one after-party, but will never be invited to the next one, especially when they see me on the street or at a club/bar and don’t even say anything to me. The dinner parties haven’t started yet, but they will…I can burn something for up to 12 people.

4. Swedes will admit to being cold towards others at first. Many of them accept that fact that they are viewed as cold people. Ask them then why not change, and you get a “hmmmmm….I dunno” as a response. But I suppose that it an unfair question.

5. Swedes are the Borg. In Sweden, conformity is key. Everyone is expected to have a volvo, a place to live, 2 kids, and generally be no more or less successful than their neighbors. If they are more successful, they are expected to almost hide it or be very modest about it. Different than the US, where the motto is “if you have it, flaunt it.” Modesty here is essential. Despite the fact that comparatively speaking, I am very wealthy here in Sweden (I was “reminded” recently that the monthly rent for my flat is about what some Swedes take home in a month), I do try and keep a level head about things here. Back to the Borg concept, I tend to be immediately marked a being different, but for some reason, I am comfortable with that.

6. Stockholm is small. They think it’s big because they’ve never been to New York. But Stockholm is small enough so that generally speaking, there is a sense that someone is always aware of what I am doing. This has been proven to me several times. So nothing is ever really “secret”. Perhaps it’s the social circles I operate in, perhaps it is just the way that it is, but I don’t spend time thinking about it really. Except every moment of every day. I kidding…I think… =0)

Well, there are other rules as well, but I am not sure that this is the forum to express them in. After all, you need only to refer to my previous postings to understand that while I share virtually everything here, I don’t share “everything everything”.

Seeing that’s it’s saturday and the only thing I really have to show for food in my flat is a box of pasta, old cheese, and some yogurt, perhaps it is time to hit the supermarket.

Tune in next time for another edition of “The World According to Rodney”. Love you journal.

Ciao, Rodney

“Where’s Waldo?” or “Why the Fuck Haven’t You Been Posting?”

10 January 2003

Hello friends and others who have stumbled upon this by accident. I know that I have to soooo apologise for not updating for like a month. It certainly is NOT that I have not meant to update, it has just been that I have been so busy and out and about that I simply have not made updating my online journal the priority that it should be. So let me take this opportunity to update you on what has been happening with me:

Basically, one mid-December hit, Sweden went into festive holiday mode. There were things such as “Christmas Tables”, in which the Swedish get together and eat a ton of food and stay remarkably thin through each bite. I was invited to one Christmas Table, which was remarkable in and of itself because I am totally still trying to find my base of friends here in Sweden (at that point). In terms of the love life, I wasn’t formally dating, but I was seeing someone with a sense of regularity. Drinking increases to the same level of my days at university. People worthy of note that I have met in this period are Chris and Anders….both very cool people…the former is Canadian (so it’s cool to have a North American friend here so that we can talk about the Swedes) and the latter is Swedish (an entirely cool guy).

Christmas came and went without much fan fare. It must be said that in Sweden, Christmas is actually celebrated on Christmas Eve, and every year at 3pm, Sweden stops completely to watch old Donald Duck and Disney cartoons. I am serious. They do this because back in the days when they were more socialist than they are now, they only had 2 TV channels, and cartoons were rare. They are so passionate about this cartoon that I suspect if the government ever cancelled the cartoon, there would be mass rioting in the streets. People worthy of note in this period is Sven von Essen (he’s a TV star, has a public relations firm, and is just the craziest and friendliest Swede I have met. Yes, I said a Swede. Really. Stop laughing.), as well as Tomas (if you have never heard a Swede speak with a cockney british accent, it is quite interesting, but he’s become on my favourite people in Sweden).

For New Years, I had planned a New Year’s Eve party, but since I am such a bad planner, it turned out to be Anders and I hanging out and having dinner, and then we went out to a club. I had to come up with a New Year’s resolutions, and they are as follows:

* Drink more. Eat less.

* No more serious resolutions, because your life should be evaluated as the need arises, not just once a year.

* Shag more. Maybe even call them back the next day and see them more than once.

* Realise that I am at such a good point in my life, that I can focus on what it takes to make others happy.

Honestly, I just made these up on the fly. I don’t believe in any of them other than the first one. And maybe the third one. OK, so now that I think about it, they are all good resolutions. I’ll keep them all.

So after New Year’s, I’ve had a couple of after parties. The first started on a Friday at 1am and went to 6am. The second one started on a Sunday and went from 6am to Monday past midnight. I had so much fun at both of them, despite a few moments where I perhaps did and said things unexpectedly. Awesome people during this period were Mikel (another awesome guy), Jimmy (cool bloke who came to an after-party), his friends Linda and Lisa (they were sooooo nice), Gladys (from a Swedish pop group named Afro-Dite…she’s such a sweet person), Koao (I fucked up the spelling on her name, but she’s also in the group Afro-Dite…you’ll be seeing her more in the US since she’s now singing with the group “La Bouche”), Caroline (love her love her lover her), Shåmon (he’ll be a great R&B pop star…he’s signed with a record company and will have a CD soon) and some others as well whose names I can’t remember because I am hung over with a cold.

So there you are. The complete update on my life – minus the naughty bits, but I think my mom is reading this, so I better keep it cleaner than it has been.

Perhaps the remaining resolution I have is to update this at least weekly. I used to believe that I would update this every day, but that hasn’t really panned out, has it? So now I think that weekly is a good goal, as well as if a significant life event happens.

08 December 2002

Hello journal and journal readers. One of you asked me a question about my posts. Specifically, you wanted to know why every post always has 2 titles. Well, the answer is that it comes from the Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoons. Before each commercial break or interruption, they always would give the next segment 2 titles for your auditory pleasure. So I lifted the concept from them. Of course, if you want to know the title of the current entry, you can see it if you simply click on the “Older Entries” link as it lists all of the titles.

Anyway, this week has been very very tiring. I got back from vacation and I was exhausted and needed to rest. I spent Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday working late hours, coming back to the apartment, and then going to sleep.

On a home programming note, I have to say that the the dryer has been ruining many of my sweaters. More accurate, they have been shirnking to the point where it looks like they were purchased a Gap Kids. Always too much or too little heat — never the right amount. And when I have put something wool in the dryer, it creates dust bunnies. So after several weeks, I now understand how they come into the world, so I took out the hoover, and sucked them all into hell (btw, the vacuum cleaner sounds like a race engine, so I wear driving gloves, goggles, and scarf while screaming “vroom vroom around the apartment — I wonder if the neighbors think I am crazy yet?). However, they struck back. Let’s just say that Thursday night was a drunk night (I do like above a bar, remember?), and I accidentally put a wool sweater into the dryer. It *was* a huge, fluffy wool sweater…the kind that grandma would make after a couple a shots of tequila. You know, where one arm is half a length too long and the other arms barely covers your arm pit? Anyway, when I opened the dryer, loads of these damn dust bunnies scurried out of the dryer and went into hiding. If they could talk they would have been snickering. In the end, I vacuumed them all up as well. Vroom vroom. But they took another sweater dammit. Dust bunnies don’t die, they multiply.

On a social note, it’s Sunday afternoon and it’s been a very awesome weekend. I’ve been meeting Swedish people left and right. It’s because I’ve stuffed a herring down my pants and we all know how they like seafood. OK, so I made the herring part up (besides, “is that a herring in your pocket or are you just happy to see me” doesn’t sound very funny, eh?). I finally know more than 3 Swedish people. I know five. Eat your heart out.

Anyway journal, that’s about it. For those of you interested, I’ll have photos of the messy apartment I call home up on Ofoto.com soon. Love you journal.

Ciao, Rodney

30 November 2002

Hello Journal from Boston, Massachusetts! I missed writing you. I meant to write to you while I was on the plane, but instead I enjoyed American Airlines’ new lower-quality business class service and got drunk on the trip over. C’est La Vie.

Anyway, I am at home until tomorrow, when I then head back to Sweden. I am kinda excited about going back to Sweden, which means that it actually feels like home now (I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at this). The American food that I have been eating has been making me sick (I’m getting used to Swedish food as well), but no complaints! I’ve gotten to see friends and family. Speaking of which…

Thanksgiving holiday was fun and eventful (as usual). The women cooked and got drunk, the men cleaned up afterwards. I was a chauffeur and drove everyone around and ran errands — people got all “Ms. Daisy” on me in the passenger seats in the car. I had a good time to be sure, but I don’t know that I’ll be coming back for the holidays next year. Everything was just very hectic and I need to use vacations to relax. I don’t think I’ll get to relax coming back to the states, so I think I’ll use that week to chill out in some remote location or oasis to get grounded again. I’ll be arriving back to Sweden on Monday just as tired as when I left!!! =(

Anyway, the trip home also let me identify what I want to movers to bring to Sweden for me, and the two empty pieces of luggage I brought here are now FILLED TO THE BRIM, and I’ll even have to pay for an extra bag. But they they are things that I want or need to help me feel more at home in Sweden.

And since the US is cheaper than Sweden in many respects, I used the opportunity to buy a digital camera, some more club clothes that I can actually fit into, and I raided my storage facility to get some of my old favourite club clothes, including both my leather and plastic pants. The plastic pants are actually quite cool to wear, but in the winter, I’ll freeze in them easily (by the same token, I’ll burn alive in them during the summer). But I will wear them anyways. The only problem with the pants is that whenever I move in them, they make noise. And it makes since, because the surface of the pants is dry and the pants are plastic, the static causes friction (or something like this). Anyway, the only solution I can think of is to put a substance on them that will lubricate the pants. OK, so maybe CRISCO is a bad idea, but it has to more gel-like than water. And not butter, because I am not a pork roast, thank you very much. I am thinking that maybe I’ll run baby oil on the pants and that should help the situation out. We’ll see…

Anyway, have to get going. Meeting some old college friends out for dinner tonight (I had dinner with Cara, Lynn, and Diane yesterday…fun fun fun!). It is going to be a low-key night, because I am tired and want an early dinner. However, around midnight, I might want to go out clubbing…we’ll see….

Ciao and love you journal!

Rodney

P.S. Bought the second season of “Buffy” today. She so rocks!

Prego journal, on this chilly-yet-beautiful evening in Stockholm. It’s been some time since I have written, but I have been very very busy. And very very lazy. I don’t think that I have written much since Paris, but the truth is, there just hasn’t been much to write home about, so to speak. Working during the day, partying at night, partying during working — you know, the usual stuff!

I am afraid I don’t even have any insights to offer you today. Besides the angry drunk guy who threw water on me, the couple that asked me to participate in the 3-way with them (yes Steve, this is the SECOND time this year…what the f*ck is going on?), and passing on a friend I invited over to my house for dinner, it’s business as usual in RodneyLand.

On the good news front, I get to go home (to the US) next weekend, and I am somewhat excited about that actually. I am excited about that not because it’s been a while since I have been home, but because I get to see my family for Thanksgiving, something that is going to keep me emotionally sane. And besides that, I need to pick up a few things from the US that I just can’t get here, like clothes for fat people like me (the Swedish are so thin that they disappear when they turn sideways, so streets sometimes look desserted during rush hour). And I need to get a Massachusetts state flag (since I already have an US and a Swedish flag hanging in the hallway). And Stephanie has organised a nite out for me on Saturday after the thanksgiving. If you wanna go, contact her. This time we are going to the Legal Seafood at the Prudential Center.

Oh yeah, life with cable is going quite well, in fact I have about 40 channels. Except theres nothing to watch. Ever. Just bad American TV shows that never made it out of production. And this week I was spotlighted on the IBM intranet. If you are an IBMer, you can check it out at:

http://w3-5.ibm.com/services/emea/sodel/3sodegs.nsf/c12568da004bc5c8c125683a004646e9/eaccc0911d072f9dc1256c70004f6abe?OpenDocument

I was pretty excited about it. And two weeks from now, I’ll be speaking to a group of Swedish people about my former job as an auditor and the travel and how being on an international assignment is a good experience. If you want to book me, call me at 1-800-inflated-egos. LOL.

And then there is the rat in my building. Now before you think I live in Bentley housing, it helps to know that I live (not directly) above a nightclub/restaurant. And a supermarket is 30 seconds from me. Given all that food, I am surprised that there is just one rat. But there is only one. And it lives in the cellar (over 5 floors down from me). The notice says that it is a “big rat”. I am thinking that it is the kind of rat that eats unsuspecting children that wander into the cellar. Truth is, I don’t know. I am never going down into the cellar again. Anyway, the note also says that you have to go into the cellar (where the big rat is), and if you have a storage space down there (everyone gets storage space as part of their apartment), you have to leave the space unlocked and the key with the landlord on the day they come in to kill the rat. Let’s not wonder for a minute what they have to do to kill this rat that they need everyone to leave their storage spaces unlocked (I think they are going to try and talk it out of the building and then lasso it or something strange). It’s only important to know that if the rat ends up in my apartment, I am moving back to the US.

So anyway, not too much else exciting has been happening. I’ve been going out and talking to people, trying to learn all I can about the Swedish. You would think I’d know by now, but you’d be wrong. Still can’t speak the language. But dammit, I can drink them under the table (even if I am barfing the next day). I may not have much (ok, so I have mostly everything in life I want), but I’ve got my pride (the one thing I don’t really have).

Anyway journal, I have to go now. It’s 5:30pm on Friday and mostly everyone has left. And Anna the Swedish janitor (think a wide-bodied lady with one stocking always lower than the other) has just given me that “I’m gonna eat ya” look again.

Ciao journal…love you.

Rodney

Greetings journal. I do have to say that it has been a few days since I have written anything. For that I apologise. I spent most of the past week in Paris, and I had a lot of fun (as usual). I often enjoy the French — the food, the people, the smell pockets in the metro. Ah, c’est la vie! And since my French is better than my Swedish, it make it a bit easier to communicate.

Actually, the reason for being in France was for work, but I was also there to find a new fragrance that the Swedish do not yet have (read my CK Crave post to find out how the nation stole my favourite fragrance…oh yeah, and how my flesh started rotting). While I was ultimately unsuccessful, I did stock up on some pretty good wines. And of course, a spot of shopping for clothing items not yet in Sweden (like Gap mock turtlenecks. Most of you will remember they introduced this in 1998 and I loved them. Now I got to buy more). That was followed up by buying a bunch of Evian affinity body and face care products. And of course, a new pair of shoes. And let’s not forget those CDs that I can’t get in Sweden. And maybe there was a Zara purchase or two — I really can’t remember. All I know is that it was good that I bought the extra-big suitcase!

Health and beauty aside, today we’ll focus on the dust bunnies that have overrun my apartment and are trying to organise an union. They are everywhere. It would be quite simple to vaccum them or sweep them up, but that suggests that I do something else in the evenings besides drink and watch TV. So they gather, wating to make their move. They seems to be gathering around my bed. I might have to take some drastic actions.

So yesterday was good in many respects. My dryer now works great, I got a working freezer, and the microwave works as intended. I also got digital cable TV installed, so now I can watch something other than the discovery and nature channels. Because let’s face it, watching ever species in the animal and insect kingdom get more action than me was getting rather depressing. Now with cable, I can somehow manage to pass the cold winter nights with inappropriate images of Bea Arthur in my head. If you didn’t find that funny — well, neither do I. I am actually rather frightened. Perhaps what is more frightening is that even with the addition of 52 additional channels — most in English — I still feel like there is nothing on TV.

Sigh….

Well, before I go, I would share a piece of fan mail I got for this diary site…

“Hey Rodney. How are you?….Anyway, I know you, and it seems like you are leaving out some pretty juicy details. Since you never call you punk a**, keep me in the know. Talk to you later.” — [Name Withheld]

Dear name withheld,

You caught me! I do leave out some rather juicy details, meant for a more mature audience or over beers that you have to pay for (because I’m poor). However, trust me that only a very small percentage of my life is missing from the online journal. So if you want to know my rationale for why I think it’s erotic when the people I um…connect with forget that I don’t speak their langugage fluently but say things in their mother tongue, then write to me under my pen name, Dr. Ruth Westheimer (on the internet, no one knows a tall black man is really a old white woman). However, on this site, buddy, you’ll have to settle for sarcasm and me talking about the injustices that dust bunnies cause.

Ciao, Rodney