OK, so I bit the bullet and decided that a paid account was the way to go. So now that I have money invested in this site, I guess that I will make a greater atempt to use it. Another one of the cool things is the stand alone interface one can use, meaning that I don’t have to go to the webiste. Because I am a lazy bitch, I would always say “don’t have time to go to the website”. But I do have time to click on the taskbar and update in a text box. 🙂

Well, I guess I should go now and be a little productive. It is 12:30am here in Stockholm and I siuppose I better do something.

“Testing, Testing, 1-2-3…Testing” or “Swinden, I am Here”
01 July 2003

So my friend Rob told me about this Live Journal thing, and it definately sounds kinda cool. Locked and private entries, general availibility entries. And it is seems to be about as soon as DiaryLand is, so I figure that I will give this thing a chance.

Perhaps the only problem is that the URL is not as easy to remember unless I have paid account, so I might just bite the bullet and go with a paid account.

Anyway, here’s the first entry. I’ll add some more once I get around to it. Maybe the change of pace will help me to post more frequently.

2003-06-24 – 02:47

“So Me and Ronald McDonald Were Sitting at a Bar…” or “Visions of Drunkeness”

24 June 2003

Hello everyone. Hello journal. It’s really early in the morning, so I will keep this short and brief, especially before going to bed.

So as it turns out, one of my friends, we’ll call him Scott, gave me a call on Sunday from a bar on Stureplan. Scott proceeded to tell me that Ronald McDonald was in a bar across the street having a few beers (probably with the Hamburgler no doubt, since he’s been a known pickpocket operating in high-traffic tourist areas in Stockholm).

So, in the age of camera-equipped phone – and this guy, Scott, has one – I told him that I couldn’t believe it was true and that he should take a pictures. Excitedly (like when he finds loose swedish change on the sidewalk), he hangs up the phone, presumably to take a picture.

Fast-forward 10 minutes later, when I get a phone call from Scott. Scott informs me that when he went to go take the picture, Ronald McDOnald (The Hamburgler was nowhere to be found) abruptly walked away, leaving Scott unable to take a photo. Furthermore, as it would turn out, when Scott called me to deliver the bad news, it was at that very same moment that Ronald McDonald passed by the bar that Scott was at, and Scott still wasn’t able to snap a photo of Ronald McDonald getting down in the funky swedish town.

Now, “Scott” swears this happened. But let’s ask ourselves, who doesn’t want whatever Scott was on that day? 😉

Now I know what you are thinking: “but Rodney, where I live, I see Ronald McDOnald at the local bar everyday. And when I go to McDonalds, Ronald is usually stumbling around. I even see him passed out at train stations sometimes.”

….

Well, tell you what…you take a picture of it and send it to me. Show me the money. Go on. I’ll be here waiting. Holding my breath even. 🙂

So anyway, the weekend wasn’t all that eventful, but it was a nice weekend anyway.

Well public, I am afraid that I must be going now, but I am glad that I could share this update with you, dear readers. And “Scott”, you know you’re God’s special little man, and I really do believe you about Ronald McDonald boozing at the bar. I do. Really. I swear.

Hej då everyone. Love you journal! 🙂

“It’s My Party…” or “Knock Knock Knocking on Heaven’s Door”

22 June 2003

Hello again journal!

So I decided that I would do something I don’t normally do…post two entries in a day. But the reason is that I wanted to share my birthday journal entry while I was inspired to write, because let’s face it, who knows when I’ll write again (I am a lazy sommabezotch!)

I had grand plans for my birthday. Loads of plans. Plans since April 2003. So when the does the planning begin for my birthday? A week before. And I can’t even claim the credit for such a good turnout and successful party. That credit belongs to my friend Maria, who helped me so much with the hotels and room and everything. There were about 20-30 people at my party, and it was great time (at least that what everyone says).

Rodney got waaaaay drunk, and it wasn’t even a weekday for a change. And many others were way drunk as well! 🙂 And then we went partying out to the clubs and stayed out all night. It was a cool birthday party and I owe a lot to Maria! (THANKS MARIA!!!!) It was also cool because Steve is back in town, doing work to state the obvious to those who need to hear it for the millionth time.

For my birthday, I got a wig and some really cool champagne glasses. There are pictures of the wig and me in the wig (oh my god Rob and Caroline, please don’t post those pictures 🙂 But I will probably post them once I get them! 😉 Remember, a man who cannot laugh at himself can always laugh at others 🙂

I really wish I could remember most of that night. Or better yet, share some more of the details, but oh well! Hee hee…

Finally, I guess it’s easier for me to have some kind of notification list when my site is updated, rather than you having to list the log seperately. So I present you this opportunity to sign up for my diary update list. Now really, don’t all rush at once. Stop pushing, this isn’t 29 crown night at Patricia. Grr…dammit all to hell, open the flood gates, tear down the wall, and sign up sign up sign up now! 🙂

Lots of Love Everyone! 🙂 Love you journal, even though I am now 27 years old! :-/

Hej då, Rodney

2003-06-22 – 08:44

“When In Rome” or “Rodney and Tomas’ Excellent Adventure”

22 June 2003

Tjena journal! 🙂 (and readers)

It’s always a long time since I have last written, so I am updating this journal again. This time with the details of my last trip. And then I shall soon update it with details of my birthday party! 🙂

So a couple of weeks ago, Tomas and I went to Rome for a long weekend. Just wanted to hang out someplace new! 🙂 ANd our friend Luca was there.

The fun all started on the plane. We flew Sterling Airlines, which is one of those discount “Easy Splash” carries. The concept of them is cool enough: pay for what you want while on the plane, all you get is a seat. But I did have some concerns about safety. Surprisingly, everytime we passed over a body of water, the plane didn’t nosedive towards it like I thought that it would. SO that is a bonus for sure! 🙂

Anyway, back to my story.

So, on the plane, Tomas and I are drinking champagne and eat pringles, because you know, when we travel, we travel in class like the trailer park trash we all dream to become. SO we are sooo drunk on the plane. ANd the fligth attendant was so adorable (he invented a new currency, called the “Sweedy”, but it’s too long to explain here.)

SO we land, and we’re drunk, and then we immediately meet our friend Luca, who is one of the most awesome people on the planet! And then we go to the hotel.

Now let’s focus on this hotel thingy for a moment. ALthough it was close to Via Venetto (the most posh street), the hotel was anything like we thought. The hotel had no grand entrance, just a green door shared with other building tenants. In fact, the name of the hotel, Hotel Invictus, was written in small letters on the panel listing the building tenants. Once we buzzed into the building, it smelled like death.

So, after following a series of inter-connected tunnels like those found in the vietnam war, and one out-dated lift, we arrived to the reception hall of the Hotel Infectus, I mean Invictus. It turned out to be OK after all, but outward appearances can be decieving as hell!

So over the course of the weekend, we go from club to club to club, eat a great restaurants, roast like pigs under the heat (even at night :), and sight-see by drunkenly stumbling from bar/cafe to bar/cafe. ANd through it all, Luca was a kind and gracious host. Having met Luca only a few months before, I can see why his friends love him so much. And I couldn’t have thought of a more perfect weekend than spending it with Tomas and Luca! 🙂 In true trailer park trash fashion, we ate at burger king at 11pm at night upon returning into Stockholm, before going our seperate ways. But it was so cool…and the pics I have and have seen will be memorable forever! 🙂

Well, there are some parts I am leaving out, but of course, I can’t always mention everything! 🙂

Ciao for now journal. Love ya!

Rodney

P.S. I am working on updating my website overall. I’ll post it here when I get around to changing it.

2003-06-02 – 23:02

“It’s a Sunshine Day” or “The Sun Also Rises” [but why the fuck doesn’t it set]

02 June 2003

Well hello journal! I am listening to Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen at the moment, and it felt like a good time to write about something that above my head, seemingly now almost 24 hours a day. THat shitty sun. It’s 11pm here in Stockholm, and it “JUST” went to dusk. And it will stay at that level until about 2:30am, when the sun will begin to rise and shine like an over-eager soldier. It is the wierdest thing I have ever experienced in my life. Well, that’s a bit of stretch on my part really, but it is strange for sure. We went from total darkness to total light in a matter of 5 months. No wonderful why my fellow stockholm-dwellers are so crazy — they can’t ever count on their natural circadian rhythms to help them balance out! Hmmm…

Well, now Rome is only 4 days away, and I can’t wait! I need a holiday from Stockholm for a weekend. Now I hear what you’re saying “but Rooooodney, you spend the last 2 weekends in Copenhagen, Denmark.” And I say in response “what the hell is up with you that you are watching my comings and goings? ;-)” Oh, so maybe you only know because I told you. Don’t you judge me. That’s includes you!

Today wasn’t very exciting at work, but I did get to chat with Magnus today, and that was a cool thing. Magnus has so much emotion for a Swede that I don’t know what to think. He’s definately atypical, and that’s a compliment.

Oh yeah, I should also mention that I went to some crazy clubs this weekend. On Saturday, I want to a club called Raw. It had 3 level. Lexus, which was hard house. Nexus, which was hard techno, and Sexus, which you had to get naked in order to enter (to keep those around me from getting hysterically blind because I am still not through Beach 2003, I kept my clothes on and didn’t go in at first). However, after the naughty bits were over, it turned into a foam room and then I entered and danced in the foam. It was pretty cool. And there were all types of people there and that was awesome, even though I was the only black guy there. Sometimes I like putting myself in that situation, because I like to watch people react to me. RAW was awesome. The next time it happens, I’ll be better prepared.

And on Sunday, I went to the boat and partied most of the night away. It was loads of fun as well.

So, pretty much I was out partying every night since Wednesday, and that was a good. Staying home tonight (Monday) though, in order to prepare to get psyched for ROME THIS WEEKEND! Woooooo hooooooo!!!!!!!

OK, well, I am all out of things to say. I’m a bit boring today and my humor is off easier than Bozzuto’s shirt at a gay bar. But hey, the good lord loves each and every one of us.

So with that, I’ll bid everyone a fond farewall. Hej då everyone and love you journal!

Ciao for now!

Rodney

P.S. I you haven’t yet listened to song Superstar by The Ones, go get it now…it’s an awesome awesome techno song!

“Hey Little Wee Man” or “Waaazzzuuuuppp”

30 May 2003

So what’s up everyone? It’s been a very very very long time since I have written anything in the journal. At one point, I was aiming to have 365 entries in the journal. However, having been so lazy for so long, I should have known that if I got 60 entries into the journal, I would have been so fucking lucky. Hee hee.

So journal, I should try to provide you with some highlights, though they are vague, probably because I’m almost drunk. Shhhh….don’t tell my mom….wait, I think she reads this….hmmmm….

Well, in the time since I have written, Steve came back to Stockholm for a week to do some more controls consulting, and that was cool. I went to Denmark twice, Norway once, and I fell in love with Copenhagen so much that I might even consider moving there mid-assignment if possible. I’ve met loads of new people, too many name every one of them, but Linda and Marasel are especially noteworthy. They are so awesome.

In terms of major events in my life, I had the results of all my physicals and tests come back since I last wrote, and everything continues to be in good working order 🙂 Oh yeah, and I am seriously contemplating lippo suction in poland, although I could just do at home what they do in poland…a vacuum cleaner, a pair of scissors, and a hefty bag…and viola…you drop two pants sizes and have a doggie bag. That was actually kinda gross, eh? But seriously, I am actually doing quite good. Important battles have been won in Operation Beach 2003…I won’t be a beached whale after all…maybe just a seal waddling along the beach. But most people who have seen me have noticed I’ve lost some weight. Me and Missy Elliott share cooking and exercise tips.

One of the worst things to happen here in Sweden is that the fucking sun sets at about 10pm (for the moment anyway…it will soon not completely set at all) and comes up around 3 to 3:30 in the morning. “So what?” is what I hear most of you asking, since you are likely in bed at that hour. Well, if you are out partying, as in every countries, you depend on dark and misty lighting to justify the warthogs disguised as humans you accidentally take home. (I happen to carry a flashlight so that I can shine it before I take them home…if they begin to run from the light, then I know it’s best to go home alone 🙂 However, with this dang-blasted sun, I have no excuse now. So I must drink more in order to be able to blame it on the alcohol.

I have many revelations over the past few weeks since I have written, but I can’t remember them. But then I am not surprised. I won’t be standing in line for the Nobel Prize anytime soon, unless they give one out for pure and unrelenting laziness. But even then, I couldn’t be bothered to stand in line for it…home delivery, along with a pineapple pizza would be lovely.

Finally, perhaps I can end this entry by talking about today. Today I went to Tony & Guy to get my hair cut. Oh la la….it was sooo good…and I look fabulous. Correction: even MORE fabulous. I decided that my experience with the Tony & Guy hair salon must be love. So as soon as I can marry the entire staff and not to go jail, you’ll all get invites to my wedding.

Well journal, it’s 9pm now, and I need to take a nap before we go out partying tonight. Take care everyone and have an awesome time. I’ll make the usual promise to write more, if you take the usual action of ignoring that promise, knowing it is not worth the digital ink it is printed on.

Ciao for now. Love you journal!

Hej då everyone….Rodney

P.S. I am going to Rome next weekend…I will make an effort to update while there or shortly thereafter, if not sooner. And maybe even some pictures. ANd visit my webiste. ANd eat your oatmeal. And this offer is not valid with any other discount or promotional offer. And…yeah, whatever….

“Fun with Languages” or “Gollum/Smegol get those Swedish-es”

13 April 2003

Yeah, all of hell has frozen over…here is ajournal update. A brief one before I head out and party tonight.

I have been corresponding with many Swedes. Some speak English flawlessly. While others, well, they need some more practise. However, I would never hold that against anyone, except this one guy who speaks English so poorly, I have asked him to switch to Swedish and to draw pictures so that we understand each other better.

No, before you go calling me a mean, heartless bastard, you have to understand that the Boy Wonder in question ain’t ever gonna be no beautiful mind. If my friends Markus, Tomas, and Jesper speak English like the british (this at best, might be a dubious compliment), then this guy, Genius in a bottle, speaks English as well as that creature from the Lord of Ring, Smegol/Gollum. Everytime he speaks, I think he’s says “stupid fat rodney-es, he tooks me lucky charms-es-es, and we wants it back.” Or something like that.

Anyway, hooked on phonics didn’t work for him. Sigh…I am so bitchy tonight. TIme to get drunk.

Ciao for now journal!

Hej då everyone! 🙂

Love, Rodney

“Month in Review: March 2003” or “Operation Beach 2003”

6 April 2003

Hello journal! How are you? It’s been so long since I have written, that I bet you were beginning to think that I didn’t care anymore? Well, I do. And since I am crapy at consistent communication for our dear readers, I definately was planning to write an update. Now is as good as time as any.

March 2003 was a pretty good month overall, although I would be hard pressed to tell you what was significant about it. The new people in my life are Maria, Helen, Anders, Sait, Yonas, and Johan. They are all cool people, and my circle of friends grows almost every week. Most of this month I have been drunk on the weekends. Oh yeah, and then there is Craig from the UK, who is a friend of a friend, but he’s cool so that is good.

What has happened is that I have drafted the plan to begin “Operation Beach 2003”, which is to get me ready to look reasonable on the beach by end of June 2003. It actually started 4 weeks ago, but several bags of McDonalds, Chinese food, and over 24 bottles of booze later, I realise that I now needed to get serious about it.

At first I kept pushing out the deadline by a couple of years, but that would only mean that I’d get fatter and fatter like a whale, and everytime I’d try to leave the water, Greenpeace would try to throw me back in, thinking I was a beached whale and that they were saving me.

Then I thought that I’d get lippo-suction in poland, but I was told lippo-suction there is only US$5 because they only use a vaccum cleaner/hoover and a hefty bag.

Finally, I thought that since I work for IBM, I need to manage this differently. I have to develop presentations and charts, service level measurements, and come up with a Beach 2003 management system. So this is what I have done. 🙂 Mostly because I am lame. Look for the Beach 2003 Management System on my website in a couple of weeks.

And the summer is shaping up to be very cool as well. Just as soon as I have details, I’ll be posting them up here.

Oh yeah, and I’ll make my promise again to update more, but like Beach 2003, we’ll see if it actually delivers anything!

In the next issue:

* “Swedish Strawberry Surprise”

* “It’s not the pants that make you look fat, it’s the fat that makes you look fat”

* “Oh Suzie Q :-(”

* “Here A Hag, There A Hag, Everywhere A Fag Hag”

* “Frumpy-A-Go-Go”

Anyway, I need to go to the gym…wish me luck…I forgot what you are supposed to do at a gym, so I’ll sit around and sip water, feeling butch without accomplishing anything.

Ciao Journal! Hej då everyone!

Love, Rodney