SobI am on the flight to Boston now. As I was leaving Stockholm, there was a lot of snow…so much that I almost missed my flight. But I had just enough time to get 2 bottles of Cristal from Duty Free in Stockholm. I am saving them for a special occasion. I now have three bottles. And the bottle of Dom Perignon. And an expensive bottle of Veuve. I am a slob.

Anyway, on the flight there was a Kenyan man who sat next to me. He had no regard for anyone around him. He was rude to the flight attendants and other passengers, shouting out orders to flight attendants 10 meters away.I asked him not to talk to me.

Made it into London to catch the connecting flight with only a few minutes to spare. I would have had more time if I didn’t stop at the Virgin Megastore to get those Hed Kandi CDs (lol…), but now I am on the plane and getting sleepy, so I will take a nap. Ciao everyone.

Well I got the results of my security examination. I failed. Which I could accept except I missed by my 10 points. 10 points is probably the equivalent to two or three questions. I don’t even feel bad about having to pay US$500 to take the examination.

The worst part is that the test is only offered in Scandinavia again on 8 January 2005. Then I would have to wait 10 months to take it again. I don’t want to wait to take it again, so I have no choice but to pay to fly to Denmark and take the test and pass it.

I feel shitty. Time to drink heavily tonight to ease my disappointment.

This morning I am heading to the office since Robin is working from home and I get nothing done when I have to share the apartment during the workday. And what was special about this morning is that I could go right to the office. No books to study (I am waiting for the CISSP results), no papers to read. Just a nice and chill 15 minute ride. This is going to be a decent day I think.

Well, I just finished my exam about 30 minutes ago. My initial reaction is thatthe exam is not as difficult as I thought. I am not sure if I passed, but if I have failed, I know what domains to focus on for the next time. we will see.

For now, off to Göteborg to get a day of rest…it’s been a crazy week.

I have a computer security exam tommorow called the CISSP. and I am not prepared. At all. On the plus side, I am 2 courses away from being an Advisory Project Manager. Yay me.

Hey All,

First off, I know….me too.

Nothing can describe how scared I am for our futures as Americans. Nothing can describe the rage and disappointment I feel towards those Americans who were cowed by fear, believed the deceit and lies of this Bush II Administration. I have openly wondered whether I can return to an America that hates so many things about who I am and would seek to oppress them into law, the constitution, and onto the courts for a lifetime.

But I can be proud that democracy worked in America, even though I disagree with what a small majority of my fellow Americans said. I can be sadnessed by a loss, but proud of the fight. And that we have the right and responsibility to fight another day — and to fight harder and with even more resolve than the day before.

It’s been 36 hours of self-reflection. It’s been 36 hours of deciding whether I care anymore. It’s been 36 hours of deciding whether I would even want to identify myself as an American to all I know. It’s been 36 hours since I removed the American flag hanging in my apartment.

But I will put that flag back up.
I will still identify as an American — as one working for change
I still do care — now more than ever.

We lost. And it hurts now more than ever. The challenge now is to focus on the future. Now is the time to rise even further.

We have 2 years to lay the base for success in Congress and in governorships and state legislatures. We have 2 years to make the case to America that they need to take a more open view and more honest assessment of what is happening in America and in the world around us. We have 2 years to educate America about perception — not about our perception of the world — but on how the world percieves us. And in the meantime, we must carefully straddle the line between not appearing to be obstructionists, but by clearly defining a new strategy and new way of being that helps Americans see more clearly that Democrats and the brand of Democracy we offer should be the one of choice.

Even if we cannot hear America singing loudly, they cannot muffle her song. She’ll sing loudly again one day.

I read this poem everytime I suffer a setback. I’ll share it with you all here.

Still I Rise – Dr. Maya Angelou

I Cannot Hear America Singing

Freedom marches and Equality Hymns banned from performance halls,
Those of women, each one singing their choice, denied by fundamentalism,
The gay American singing his, silenced by hate
The poor American singing theirs, gagged by the rich,
The black American singing hers, muffled by history,
Each aching to sing their hopes and dreams, nothing imposed on others,
All longing to sing their strong melodious songs,
shut out this day by fear,
I cannot hear America singing
she has gone silent

Goodbye equal rights
Goodbye Choice
Goodbye fiscal responsibility
Goodbye Respect
Goodbye safety

Goodbye America
I do not know you anymore